Korea unsuccessfully attacks Hawaii on July 4

[July 2009]

Korea unsuccessfully attacks Hawaii on July 4 because they were really lazy and tired, due to the fact that everyone in Korea weighs at least 300 pounds and can't stay awake passed eight o' clock.

We're really not sure if they know what July 4 is, so we asked a caged animal Korean that we managed to capture while they were "playing" on the beach in Korea, and he had this to say about July 4:

"July 4? WTF is July 4? Oh, you mean doomsday? Yeah, we fell asleep."

So there you have it.